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Twas The Night Before

Dec 24th 2013

A very Nerdherd holiday poem.

Twas the Night Before

Twas the night before we were getting ready to send out our holiday card,
when all through the agency,
All the creatures were stirring, except for Calvin, who was still working shamelessly
The tree was set up, it’s colors white and bluish,
I guess that’s the diplomatic compromise, when one of your co-founders is Jewish.

The holiday card had created great interest,
Ren Walker was looking for inspiration by browsing through Pinterest. 
And when Nick Fischer was lost, Rebecca chimed in with a jest,
“You realize he’s the last guy alive who still uses MapQuest?”

When out in the street, there arose a loud slam,
We ran to the window, iPhones in hand.
Laura Atwell, our social media expert and never a rube,
Was as ready as ever to post to YouTube.

The light of the street lamps gave a strange tint to the place,
And this man, this little man, was so tiny, we couldn’t make out his face.
His shirt was speckled with numbers, but just ones and zeroes,
But to a herd of nerds we acknowledged, this man, might be the most super of heroes.

And on a little old browser, but not Internet Explorer, something quick,
Kelly Kitchel Google Image Searched to see if this guy, was maybe St. Nick. 
A project manager by day, and problem solver by night,
It was Anne Jansa who unraveled the mysterious sight.

The man we were seeing, it was all very simple,
With his binary shirt and occasional pimple,
It was an equation that ached to be simplified--
We were looking at none other than Internet Data personified.

And while he may appear nerdy to the casual passerby,
We recognized his beauty by the glint in his eye. 
Perched in his high speed chariot, this tiny man began to scream,
Internet buzzwords like it was out of a dream. 

“SERP Types and Meta! Big Data! Web 2.0!
Scalable E-commerce, Microblog, SEO!
Optimize for conversions! Go viral! Data Collide!
Immersive Experience! KPI!  KPI!”

And under the crisp winter night, this tiny man hoot and hollered
While Aaron James nervously adjusted his wrinkled blue collar.
And just as the buzzwords began to be clear,
He produced a tiny graph that plotted the new year. 

And what we did see, we’ll share with you now,
The graph shot straight off the page, and the last data point,  said “Holy Cow!”
And we heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
“Happy Holidays to all, and to all a good-night!”

This very #nerdherd holiday poem is brought to you by the one and only David Steinberg.
PS: Check out our holiday-themed About page.

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